Self Confidence

 

“You are as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fears; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.” - Samuel Ullman

 

Most of us pop out of the womb with a fairly high degree of self-confidence. We haven’t yet started to judge ourselves as smart or dumb, handsome or homely. We haven’t yet built up notions of possible versus impossible, safe versus risky.

And most importantly, we haven’t had time to absorb the judgments, fears, and limitations of the people and culture surrounding us.

Those were the real good ol’ days!

But for most of us, that natural, innocent self-confidence starts to erode pretty quickly. And by the time we hit grade school, the majority of us have bought into a new notion: you can only feel self-confident by earning it.

So who gets to feel self-confident around members of the opposite sex? The guys or gals who’ve had success with the opposite sex. Who gets to feel confident in sports? The kids who have shown athletic promise or skill. Who gets to feel confident about their appearance? The ones who have been told that they’re beautiful or handsome.

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Unlike the natural self-confidence we were born with, this new self-confidence requires proof!

Even coaches and therapists who encourage self-confidence and self-esteem focus on what you can do as a path for gaining confidence. They tell you to take action and face your fears, practice strenuously, or rehearse until you have your speech down pat.  

Our common wisdom agrees with William Jennings Bryan when he said, “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.”

And that approach works… to a certain extent.

 

Without self-confidence, many of us don’t even attempt to begin certain things. And even if we do, the success of our attempt is largely determined by our level of confidence in that endeavor.

So if we believe that we’re awkward in social situations, we can push ourselves to join the party -- but our results will most likely measure up to our expectations. We can get a nose job or a new wardrobe, but as plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz discovered decades ago, our reflection in the mirror will still look as homely to us as we’ve always believed it to be.

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True, lasting self-confidence doesn’t come from what we do. It lives in who we are. And who we are is determined by our beliefs about ourselves, not any external “proof” or judgment.

Let me repeat that: The unconscious mind holds beliefs and “truths” about us that really aren’t changed much by external facts or proofs.

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So you can have an outstanding performance where the critics rave. But if your unconscious mind is convinced that you’re a mediocre actor, you’ll approach your next role with the same dread and hesitancy. On the flip side, if the critics tear you apart but your unconscious believes that you’re brilliant, you’ll simply ignore those rotten reviews!

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Have you ever noticed those rare people who seem to exude self-confidence no matter what? A guy (like Walt Disney or Henry Ford) who fails at several businesses but never seems to take it personally? The woman who, by fashion industry standards would never make the cut, yet she walks into a room like she’s the hottest thing going? That talent show kid who sings off-key but with such enthusiasm that he’s the hit of the show?

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That’s real self-confidence! And that confidence – or the lack of it -- is based in our unconscious minds. The beliefs we hold within our unconscious minds effect everything from what we observe (or don’t observe) to our emotional reactions to our very physiology.

 

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With the help of our certified hypnotist you can address any thoughts that may have weakened your confidence and lowered your self-esteem and replace these with better, more helpful thoughts. Our sessions have been designed to help “reprogram” your subconscious mind so that you can stand tall and achieve what you want to achieve.

We can help you to:

- Achieve a state of calmness.

- Be more sociable and outgoing.

- Develop good, positive feelings.

- Step outside of your comfort-zone.

- Speak freely and express your views.

- Foster a better, healthier self-image.

- Relax and enjoy the company of others.

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